“You’re the Expert”
I stood in front of the hairdresser’s chair, hovering and watching every move she made as she cut my eldest son’s hair. A little at a time, his golden locks shortened until it was lighter and “just right.” Then, my youngest son took another hairdresser’s chair and I helicoptered over there to do the same. But my youngest son’s hair is more difficult than my eldest’s. And it was WAY too long. I frankly wasn’t quite sure what to do with it. Shortening it alone might not do the job. I felt pressured. I himmed and hawed about what to do as she impatiently stared at me.
I figured she might have some cool style ideas. After all, she had thousands in her chair. She had gone to hundreds of hours of school.
I mumbled, “I don’t know, you’re the expert, do what you think is best.” With that, she looked away instantly, held up a 6 inch lock of hair and chopped it in half. No discussion. No “easy does it.” There was no following cowlicks or the natural curve of his hair She chainsawed his hair. I stood mortified as the deed was done and she went to town hacking away at his hair. I have never seen anything like it. (And there was something dark about her. I am not kidding.) I was paralyzed. I had no idea what to do and it was too late to stop it.
When she was done, uneven patches of hacked hair was left on his head with a little weird pointy thing at the back. One too-long wisp of hair stood straight up in his bangs. He looked absolutely terrible. It wasn’t just a different style; there was no style at all. The sides were not even. There was no graduated hairline. It was total destruction. There was no fixing it and I was not going to even suggest it. I wanted her hands off my son’s head.
I wanted to cry from deep inside. Surprisingly deep; it was a wail. I was so angry. At myself. I tried not to show my horror because I could tell my little Brock was also shocked as he gazed at himself in the mirror. His beautiful brown locks lay casualties on the floor.
I stumbled out of the salon and got into the car. I grew more and more agitated on the way home and am sorry to say I was short with the boys when I put them to bed. I was so upset. I know it’s only hair. I know it will grow back. I know there are much worse problems in the world than a tragic haircut.
But that wasn’t it. How could I let this happen? What was wrong with me?? Why didn’t I exercise the same care over my second son as my first? What exactly went wrong? I was DIStraught.
That night I went into the boys rooms and prayed over them again after they were asleep. I started asking God about why I was being such a baby about this. It wasn’t normal for me. It was out of the ordinary. I am not an over-sensitive, hand-wringing mother. What in the world was wrong??
The Lord gently asked me, “Do want to know why this happened?” Through tears, I said yes. He rewound my day like a tape to an exact moment in time. I saw myself standing in front of the chair and I heard my own voice saying “you’re the expert.”
He showed me that at that very moment, something was legalized against us. From my own mouth I had given up my authority. I lost my right to suggest and guide the process. My own words authorized someone else to take decisive action in my son’s life. I ceded my rights to someone else who did not have the best interests of my son or our family in mind. (And for all I know it may have been her first day of work!) I had not evaluated any of her prior work. I had no track record to go on. I just assumed.
She was the hairdresser, after all. She must be trained, I assumed. She had surely done this a lot. She must want her clients to be happy with her work. She of course must care what the parents think. She would want satisfied, repeat customers. All these assessments, I had made in an instant before I ever uttered my statement. I let her impatience guide me. I let her position convince me. I did it.
This REvelation pierced me. The Lord comforted me and I sensed His mercy in letting me experience this massive truth in such a small, inconsequential matter. I knew in His love He was sparing me from having to learn this lesson some harder way. I knew He was reminding me of the importance of what we have begun to learn.
You see, Trevor and I have learned in the last few years the importance of every choice we make. We’ve realized how much power we had given up to the world. Up until the last three years, we let other people tell us what is best for us. Because they were the experts, after all.
And we’ve done it in every area of our life…and here are just a few…
When we were ill, we went to the doctor to find out what was wrong. We took their white pills to make us better. It’s not wrong to ever see a doctor but my point is, we never even sought God’s wisdom on our situation. It literally did not even occur to us to ask Him what was wrong, where it came from, or what the solution was. Now we have learned lots of other solutions and about the Original Healthcare Plan and the natural pharmacy already provided for us. (I’ve got much more for you on this subject, as we’ve now been on a 2 year journey into abundant health…)
We assumed you have to send your kids outside your home for school. Everyone does, for goodness sake. It’s free. It’s convenient, after all, it’s arranged around parent’s work hours. It’s part of the cycle of life, right? But then we learned that “school” as we know it is only a construct of the last 200 years. We began to take a harder look at a system that fails so many and reflect on our own life-altering experiences within those lockered walls. And we’ve made some different choices as a result. Believe me, we haven’t figured out the Original Education Plan yet, but we are stepping into divine uncertainty and willing to discover it. (There’s much more on this I will be unpacking for you as we gain the right to speak about it…)
It has always confused us how everyone can put millions into the stock market and everyone is promised a win. This never added up to us. And we didn’t understand how the whole system worked. So because we didn’t understand but it is a system that everyone is a part of, it seemed obligatory too. And we wrongly assumed we ourselves were poorly equipped to navigate a complex world. So, we gave our money – God’s money – to someone else to “handle it” for us. We’re making other choices now. (Much more on this to come; stay tuned).
I could go on and on, but it would be too much at once to share and in too many areas. I’ve probably already ruffled a few feathers. But how can I withhold from you the beautiful truth: WE HAVE DISCOVERED THE ABUNDANT LIFE OF FREEDOM that is promised to all God’s children, but precious few ever actually experience?
We’ve stepped OUT of many systems that bound us and found that in doing so, we had stepped IN to a river of life.
So, back to the horrific haircut…
It was really just a symbolic reminder of where we used to be, and sometimes still are –until it’s revealed to us. It’s not about having to be in control or doing things a certain way. That would just be more boxes that bind, contain, and prescribe.
In the last few years, we have come to the stark realization that all our lives we have entrusted someone else with what we were entrusted. We gave up what was ours to manage.
As shocking as it sounds; we found that up until a few years ago, we had not been thinking for ourselves. We had been numb. We had agreed to a whole bunch of unspoken rules and expectations. And we didn’t even know it. We had given up without knowing it.
But like the noonday sun, a higher mind has begun to arise in us. We are the sleepers that have arisen from the grave into the glorious light. We are beginning to understand the truths we’ve read on those parchment pages all these years. The veil really has been torn off our eyes.
It has taken us to our late thirties to even begin to question what for so long as has seemed obligatory, and even natural. But now, there’s no going back. There’s nothing to go back to.
We can no longer give up our rights as citizens of heaven. We can no longer declare others experts when we have access to the Designer of all things.
Everyone has a divine purpose and gifts to share with the world. And we need each other because that’s the design of things: sharing our gifts with one another as a family. And we honor doctors, educators, and financiers, and everyone else. Some have even been given special insight that our world needs for this season. And yes, we will still use doctors if we cut off a limb. We enjoy learning from teachers who have knowledge and revelation. We will occasionally inquire of financial advisers to get their “take.” But we are now much more selective about what and who we allow to speak into our lives.
And God-willing, we will learn from butchered hair about our responsibility to remain vigilant to access The Expert’s wisdom instead of ceding our power to the world’s “experts.”
- Learn more about our family’s call to homeschool
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